A letter to myself

Dear Nyappy Anne/ Dear readers,

This is my 150th post, at first I never thought my blog would have more than 5 followers. I was so suprised when my blog reached the 10 followers, after that my blog was growing more and more. I never thought I would write this 150 posts, I'm not that kind of person. I'm easily bored, I'm a little bit lazy so having a blog wouldn't be good for me? In the end, completely the opposite was true, I loved to blog and I still do. First I really want to thank every follower and every reading of this blog, thank you so much! <3

It was around 1,5 year ago since I stared this blog, many things changed and many things happend in that time. I'm very happy that I'm still the same person only I learned a few more things, isn't that great? Lolita didn't changed me, my dolls didn't changed me, what other people thought about me didn't changed me...and I'm proud of that!

 In the beginning of the year I started to think about quiting lolita, I didn't liked it anymore, I also felt a bit depressed about my situation in private life because thing were getting very heavy at that moment. I'm not going to tell what happend then because that's private and only a few people know about it.. I realized that my problems weren't the end of the world, I was in good health, I had/have the most amazing friends and lovely close family members. Wasn't it all about being happy and make your dreams come true before it's too late? I remember someone saying this to me: '' Live girl, before it's too late!'' I'm not going to break that promise, for sure!

This week I was thinking about this again, why? I don't know.. I think I was thinking about everything what happend this year.. I'm going to start over in a few weeks, I'm looking forward to it! I can't wait! :) Thinking back in time, I can say that I've been through a lot. Some things aren't as simple as they look like and what's completely normal for one person can be so far away from reality for another one. I cannot say I'm unhappy I'm not going to get 'oh, look at me I'm so unlucky, give me attention' I'm not that kind of person. I hate it when people do that.. I guess when something terrible happends to you, you don't every talk like that. I learned of every single thing that I've been through and that made me the person who I am right now.

I don't get why people can get so upset about little things, life is so short why worrying about silly things and judging other people because of their way of life, looks or because of which brand they wear/ not wear.  Especially the last one is really stupid, I hate it when people judge other people who they barely know.

 In the past people used to do that a lot because I did not wear the clothes that were 'fashionable' at that moment and when it wasn't about my appearance it was about something else. It says more about them, then about me I think. Think about something before you say it, maybe it's a nice person and he/she is just really insecure... little things can hurt a person so much. I don't care if your wear bodyline, a replica, offbrand or if you wearing a Adidas vest with Nike Airmax. I don't care at all, as long as you are nice to me, I'm nice to you! :) It's not only when I'm talking about clothes, it's with everything, if you are nice to me, I'm nice to you.

Like my mother says to me once in a while: ''Tread someone, like you wants to be tread''

That's why I don't understand the brand war that's raging into the lolita world. I love brand clothes, I prefer brand clothes over replicas, over offbrand only not over handmade. That's my opinion! I don't think you have any right to say something about someone when someone wears brand, replicas, handmade or offbrand, it's not like you can't be a lolita without brand. That's ridiculous! It's not my choice but if someone is really happy with that, who are you to judge this person? Some people really can't afford brand, some people can't work hard/can't work at all/ need to spend nearly all their money on more important things/ aren't spoiled/ have other hobbies/ need to pay for their school/whatever! Who are you to judge this person? I get it if you want to save up every single penny you get for that one dress every time but that right isn't given to anyone. Think about that! I'm still young, I have a few Angelic Pretty, Baby the Stars Shine Bright and MmM dresses in my closet, many people of my age could dream about that even many older people could only dream about that. I am skinny, I'm not tall and I'm not too small. I'm 5cm taller than Japanese average height, so buying brand isn't any problem for me. It is for some people, never forget that! You can't say to a person, oh you are so tall, now there's no way you can't wear lolita! That's selfish!

No matter if you are a man/ a woman, tall/short, skinny/chubby, what religion you have, where you come from there is no f*cking way that anyone is going to tell you that you can't wear lolita for any of those reasons. Again that says more about the other person than about you! Remember that!

The only people who have to right to judge about one thing, are the owners of the brands, I think they have the right to be angry/upset about replicas that's their right because it's their art that's being stolen. I'm not sure which way it's going, I'm going to keep myself up to date to this subject.

The whole drama,not only about replicas, also about other Lolita issues, are ridiculous and childish, many of us know how it's like to be judged by people while wearing lolita or while wearing our daily life clothes. Why would we do the same? And we are all grown up, or at least we are at a age that we all can think properly, so why are people making a big deal of this? We all love lolita, so why are we doing this? Can't we just get along? Can't we have respect for one other? 

 I don't say that everyone has to be friends with each other, that's impossible, just act like you like that person/don't talk to that person and don't bitch behind each others back. Sounds very simple? Especially not when it's about replicas, such a stupid subject. Maybe that girl in a replica dress is a nice person and maybe she could be your best friend? Who knows!

I also don't like when people/lolitas who haven't got any brand judge about lolitas who do wear brand. It's not like everyone who has more than two brand dress is a brandwhoring elitist, lolitas who have a lot brand can be nice too! Not every lolita is like that. It's time that people forget about thinking in boxes, wearing brand isn't equal to hating everything that's not brand/hating everyone who doesn't wear brand.  Wearing brand doesn't make you a good lolita, it's all about finding your own style and making a good coord.

So... I said what I wanted to say about that.. Now I remember I never got anonymous hate or something like that. This is no invitation to send me that, hahaha! My blog is still growing and lolitas who are less popular than me had problems with that. I love to read lolita confessions and lolita secrets on the behind the bows community, that doesn't mean I like all the secrets. Some secrets are so mean and I hate personal attacks/hate secrets. It's so low when people submit/post that. I'm going admit I've never send a personal attack or something like that. If you have a problem with someone, just talk to that personal in real life or through email/facebook. There are a lot secrets about the Dutch Community,  it should be an awful community if we all should believe the secret maker. It's not like that! The Dutch Lolita community is amazing and I made many friends. The meetings are lovely and it's so much fun to see my lolita friends again. Now I'm going to be not so political correct, I'm not friends with everyone, it's a big community and many people I've only met once or twice. Every year I meet new people, some of them 'join' the community and some of them I've never seen back. It's a group with mostly girls, so yes, once in a while there are problems, when we don't talk about it, it's not going to work out. In our community there is space to discuss your problems or concerns, if you have a problem you can talk about it. There is no need to make dirty secrets about the community because we CAN talk about things. Everyone in the community will be nice to you and talk to you unless you are nice to them and act normally. So give it a chance please? If you don't like it, it's okay when you never come back, at least try it sometimes. ^__^ 

It's the same when I talk about dolls, dolls are your own and if you like them it's okay. I don't care which company they come from~~ I changed a lot last 1,5 year and I thought I would keep all of my dolls. At the moment I'm sure I don't. Miki is going to leave, I don't like her anymore, I don't have any ideas and I don't have enough money to afford a new doll at the moment so.. she is going to leave.

I have many ideas for my other dolls, I should spent more time to finish them, I'm going to do that.

So stay tuned! <3

I should stop worrying about the little things, life is too short for that. I'm going to put effort to promote Lolita in a good way and give it a more positive view, everyone should see it's a fun/nice style to wear. I'm also going to let go, I'm not going to spent hours and hours on print hunting and things like that. I talked about serious Lolita issues to my non-lolita friends and all of them were saying this: ' So, what's the problem? It's just so funny how everyone is overreacting' 

Lolita is just a hobby (for me) nothing more, I feel like loosing myself in it, that's wrong. I'm going to stop this before it's too late. I'm going to be myself and if anyone has a problem with it, then has that person no right to be my friend. Lolita should be fun! 

Now I have talked about everything I wanted, what can you expect of me in the future? 

I'm going try to more creative, with my dolls, with my outfits, everything. Stay tuned if you want to see more new items, meet-up pictures, reviews, my dolls and many many more things.

And I'm going studying again and I really looking forward to it! :)  I'm sure everything will be all right!

This letter is a reminder for me, if I ever feel lost I can read this. 

If you have a question about me, you want to know more about Lolita/dolls or you want to know more about the lovely Dutch Lolita Community please ask me! Don't hesitate!

And thank you again for following or reading my blog. <3

Best Wishes,

Nyappy Anne