'Bad Kids'

Today I'm going to talk about parents and lolita because I read a post from a girl on the lolita forum.
I think it's only a 'problem' for the younger lolita's.
My meaning of this post isn't to show that parents, don't have the rights to forbit you to wear lolita.
In the end it's up to them!
I can understand that some parents don't want their kids to wear lolita, but forbit something isn't always the right thing to do.
I want to give some tips to the young lolita's and newbee lolita's and I'm going to tell experience as a young lolita.
( I started wearing lolita when I was 14 years old)
I hope this post is useful. ~~

1. Don't keep it a secret
Parents don't like secrets, when they find out you do something secretly they might be more angry about it when you just tell it to them.

2. Tell them what lolita exactly is.
The word lolita is very confusing.
You don't want your parents to think about lolita like the book from Vladimir Nobokov. It totally isn't like that!
Lolita is a japanese fashion style, you don't wear the style because you want to look sexy.
Maybe it's useful to call it gothic lolita like the most lolita's do.
You can tell them about the different styles and the history of lolita ect.
Show them pitures and videos there are lots of lolita documantaries on the internet.

3. You are not the only one.
They exist the other lolita girls. (even guys)
It's useful and fun to sign yourself in to a lolita forum!
When your parents know that you are not the only one, they might be more understanding.
Maybe it's a good thing to invite a local lolita to tell them about the style or to ask advice on a lolita forum.


4. Watch out with the more extreme lolita styles
OTT lolita, deco lolita,guro lolita ect. are very extreme lolita styles.
Your parents may be disturbed when you tell them you want to wear styles like that.
You can't wear those styles every day, it isn't always comfortable and people will stare at you and call you wierd names.( I'm not making this up)
Those styles are more suitable for the weekends and meetups.
Your parents want to protect you from that, so don't be angry with them when they forbit you to wear it on 'normal days'.
When you want to wear one of styles really badly, you can always start with wearing one of the other styles and when they are used to it, you can start decorate it! ^_~

5. The prices
Lolita isn't cheap, you can't buy 3 dresses in a month or a whole wardrobe in a year.
Don't compare yourself to other people.
It's better to start with a cheap dress, one from bodyline, taobao or a secondhand dress.
You can always buy a brand dress!
I think your parents will understand it more when you buy a cheap dress first.
You can tell them you want to find out if the style really is the suitable style for you.
Or you can make a list of the dresses/items you really want and after that saving up for that
items. (Don't change the list, that's not fair :P)
You can find a part time job when you have enough time for it.
When you work for your own money,you understand the price of something.
You have to work very hard for a lolita dress, don't think your parents are going to give you one!
Most of the parents want their kids to understand the value of money.
You are more likely to be able to buy a dress when you have a part time job.

6. Lolita is like hobby (or a lifestyle, please save that for later)
The youth always wants to stand out, that's normal.
Most of the youth wants to go out, shopping for clothes or things like that. Lolita is nearly the same, a lolita buys clothes (most of the time online) and most of the lolita's go often to meetups.
Some people collect things, other people like to go out in the weekends and some people want to wear lolita.
I don't think there is anything wrong with one of these things!

7. Wearing lolita
You don't have to wear lolita every day, that's nearly impossible for the most lolita's.
Make a promis with your parents about wearing lolita.
For example: Only wearing lolita in the weekends and holidays.
You can always change this after some time or maybe there is no need to.

8. There are worse thing you can do
Lolita is especially about clothes, it isn't something illegal. :P

9. Meetups
If your parents don't trust the meetup they can go with you.
I don't mean the whole day, just bring you to the meet up and be present from a distance.
When you go to the meet they can shop, so they are in the neighborhood.
Don't let them join the meet, it's a lolita meet not a parents of lolita's meet :P
Don't let them ask other ones to baby-sit, the other lolita don't like that! ^_~

                                          (An example of a lolita meeting)
10. All of this doesn't work?
I feel sad for you! It so much fun to wear lolita and meet other lolita's, I hope your parents will understand it very soon.
Be patient, don't get angry with your parents.
They want to protect you from the evil world.
( sorry, I like to say that)
If you get angry they definitely won't let you wear lolita!
Tell them it's something you really want, in the end for them lolita is just a fashion style, for the most lolita's does it mean a lot more.

--------------------------------------------------------------
My parents:

My mom was really against it first, especially because of the prices.
And she didn't like the gothic style,she had the same prejudices about lolita as about gothic.
You know... being depressed, always wearing black, don't have friends all those wierd ridiculious things which are not true!
My dad didn't care about it, until I was 14 years old I collected toys I think he was happy about me wearing lolita because he thought of it as a sort of growing up. ( lolita a being grown up hihihi :P)
Unfortunately my dad had nothing to say about me because my parents are divorced, I see my dad only on monday.
But I began to save money for buying a lolita outfit and I bought my first outfit a few months after that, I was so happy when I went to Mfashion.
My mom saw that I was so happy and that was the moment see became to understand why I wanted to wear lolita. (because of personal circumstances at that time I wasn't been able to be that happy for a long time as back then)
After a few years ( I think two years) her view on lolita changed dramatic, she accept me to wear lolita fashion.
But I think she is still a little bit ashamed when I wear sweet lolita, when I wear sweet lolita she don't want to go anywhere with me.
That's kind of annoying but I understand it a little bit. I won't stop me from wearing lolita :P
I think it's a little bit funny my mom wants me to wear gothic lolita instead of sweet lolita.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading all this! ^_^